Thursday, September 16, 2010

Angry Man Noises & A. Nonny Mouse (AMN vs ANM)

Right now, outside my apartment window a group of youthful male individuals (please note I cannot/will not call them men) are making guttural noises that frighten/annoy me (we are talking Cro-Magnon at best) and are rattling fences as they plod along. So that's cool. I can tell you all want to be their friends and maybe their lovers... You can't fool me.

Ugh.

In other news, I am going underground. Kind of. The blogspot address is the same, long mouthful it has always been and I intend/hope to keep it so, but it is time to be a bit more reticent about my actual identity. Because there was that time when I only had one email and it was the same one I use for my cuss-heavy blog as I did my resumes. OHMYGODIFYOULECTUREMEIMIGHTCRY/PUKE so let's not go to that realm of "new mystery author of this here blog" thinks so much about so many things it is kind of intense, but not the self-identifying blog issue, okay? I am lucky to be figuring it out now, as opposed to losing my job because I yammered away with explatives and flippant discussions of what might be termed as serious (as plenty of individuals have before me). Hi, Learning Curve! I usually like to be high up on you, but in this area I was sort of ditzy. Do you forgive me and believe in my dedication otherwise? You do!? AWESOME.

My freak-out about this whole thing has lead me to the following:
  • No more identifying pictures. Of course outside of my little greeting photo I haven't posted anything that was too recognizable, but safety first. No more face shots (a face that can sooo Work It sometimes. So we are all gonna miss that, but we will move on).
  • The contact email has changed. It is now wardofthestateofmind@gmail.com. If you search my old email, NADA related to wardofthestateofmind should appear and now I have a blog specific email. Why I didn't do this earlier, I am not sure.
  • Comments: Seeing as pretty much those of you that actually comment, know me and my lovely name/history/appearance I would request that you keep in mind my desire for anominity (A. Nonny Mouse). Leave out my name, picture links, etc. Not that much along these lines has even happened, but I am in safe-rather-than-sorry mode.
  • If I am missing something obvious, would you be so kind as to loop me in? I plan on remaining as candid and off the cuff as I always have been, but in the interest of preparing for my future in an adult way I would like to not make a total public ass of myself. With lots and lots of help from you, I might be able to accomplish this.
Okay so, I am super tired. Whoa.

Oh, by the way, I turned 29 yesterday and it was lovely. The Gorgeous German bought me necklaces, DVDS (all ones I had mentioned I really wanted to see in passing over the last few months), WWII memorobilia, and a dictionary that when on its back stands almost a foot tall from the late 50's. SWOON. (Oh, and then just earlier today I got a gift in the mail from my parents from China along with a hand-drawn card!!) We met with the few friends that could actually make it out on a Wednesday evening and went home early. I was happy and am grateful. Also, facebook made me feel all twitterpated, because so many people left notes and messages. Yeah, FB prompts you about bdays, but I, the new and improved secret blogger, really felt loved and happy.

FUCK YEAH, 29.

Postscript: I want a dress like this, but cotton and dyed this way.

Now you know.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Baking Blueberry Scones Is A Full Contact Sport

1. New blog design: I need your feedback. Should I stick with the redesign?

Pros: a) looks like spilled wine/artsy watercolor, two things I am very familiar with, b) layout provides wider posting space so pictures and video fit better, c) I was wanting a bit of a change.

Cons: a) I can't seem to get a picture in the header that fits/can be centered nicely, b) umm, it's an awful lot of pinkish hues, c) change, though perhaps desired, is haaarrd.

I'm not sold either way, but I am going to give it a couple-of-posts test run (which could last a few months with my serious lack of posting lately) and see how I feel. My guess is I will feel too lazy to change it up too much and leave it more or less, as is. But, if you have a strong feeling either way, I want to know!!

2. The kitchen tried to kill me, specifically the oven: Two weeks ago I had the distinct pleasure of prepping for a day trip to the beach. Yes, that mini-vacation that I have been whining about needing for my sanity for like, ever, was in fact to happen. I was PUMPED and decided that I would bake some scones for the Saturday morning car ride out to the ocean. Yum, right? Well yes, they were tasty as heck, but I practically had to give up my left arm in the process. Everything was going groovy during the mixing/kneading/shaping phases. The counter, the floor and most of my upper torso and face were finely coated with flour and smeared with blueberries so all was as it should be. I popped the suckers in the oven and left them there for about 8 minutes before checking on them. Here is where things went a titch haywire. I opened the oven and reached in with a toothpick to test if they had been baked through yet and as I reached my arm in the oven door decided it was time to seal itself back up. My tender (and extremely pale even after all of summer) forearm of course was smack dab in the oven door's path and I got caught. I screeched like a damn banshee, jerked my arm out, cursed at the oven, and did a little dance reminiscent of the pee-pee dance, but while delicately holding my left forearm with my right hand. However, there was no one to see my sad dance for pity so I stuck my arm under cold water until I couldn't feel it anymore.

For those of you that are concerned about the real issue here, the scones turned out fine. My arm? Not so much. Two red line across my upper forearm formed immediately and initially (and rather tricksterly) looked like they might not be so hideous after all. But that is because it took a full day for the blisters to appear and then rupture as angry, hurty blisters so love to do.

I guess this could all be okay, if it didn't make me look like a cutter/burner at freaking almost 29 years old, and I didn't already have SIB in my past, and the sight of these burns didn't trigger huge feelings of guilt and make me think OMG, everyone is judging me, no one will believe me, I feel 16 again, this sucks. So to cover it up and relieve some of my ridiculous fears I went around with this massive band-aid that I put on everyday, which was still pretty fucking lame, but if there is one thing I can count on it is the white-washing of the band-aid world which is all sorts of fuck-up, but damn if it don't match my skin tone remarkably well. Of course no one seemed to notice AT ALL, even though I went around furtively tugging at my 3/4 length shirts and sweating because even partially long sleeves during a mild Sacramento summer remain ill-advised.

And just to top this all off: After four days of ultra-adhering band-aids, I had to struggle to pull the damn thing off (we are talking grunting and yanking for a good three minutes), taking with it a layer of, up until that point, TOTALLY UNHARMED SKIN. Little sticky bits remained in some places that I could not remove with soap, exfoliating scrub, pumice stone, toothpaste (don't ask) or peanut-butter (really don't ask) and thus I acquired blueish/purple fuzz patches that looked bruisey from only the slightest distance. Essentially I looked like a cutter with leprosy all because of some goddamn blueberry scones.

But the beach was awesome.