Monday, November 3, 2008
When I was a little girl one of my absolute favorite books was The Runaway Bunny. I adored the pictures and I think I identified with the little bunny character. She (technically it is a he in the book, but in my mind it has always been a daughter sassing her mom) tells her mother over and over that she is going to leave and maybe never come back. The mother says over and over that she will follow her little bunny and bring her back. A classic story of a kid testing boundaries and identification of self versus unit. It also comes with the assurance of intense love, dedication, and patience from the parental nurturer.
I am not sure how this relates to how I am feeling lately, but the book won't leave my mind. I suppose it hints at the urge we all have to be alone and adventurous in the world and yet know that somewhere, if we want to go back, there is a safe haven waiting for us. A home.
I just wrote a bunch of stuff and deleted it because it was too whiney, even for me.
The gist of it came down to this: When AM is out of town (which he is for campaign work) I increasingly realize how much I 1) depend on him, 2) don't particularly have close friends in Sacto, and 3) spend tooling around in my own head.
These are not innately bad things, they just can morph into negativity if you let them. It is possible that today I let them be bad for a few hours. Okay, more like 20 hours, but let's not split hairs. I am aiming to make tomorrow productive and hopeful. One thing that certainly helps is that I am voting for Obama! Bigtime excited. Also, I will be voting no on 8 (the gay marriage ban in Cali) which is very important to me.
Unrelated, my Halloween costume was a hit! I had people coming up to me wanting to take pictures with "Uma Thurman" and one guy kept singing "Girl, you'll be a woman soon" to me. I will post pictures soon. I don't think I will ever tier of dressing up as something or someone I am not. Especially if there is fake blood involved in the process.
"I will become a bird and fly away from you."
Posted by I Love You To Madness at 11:44 PM