Friday, July 10, 2009
I have a fake family. It is new and strange and no else I have met has something quite like it. I almost worry that by mentioning I risk it. It goes like this: there are people that you meet in life that you just get immediately. Neither party can explain it and to the outside world it probably looks fucking weird. Really? You get along? You feel comfortable around this person? We watch cartoons and eat homemade brownies together. Yes. YES.
And it is brand new to me, this layered, lovely thing. How does one get welcomed in to an already existing entity like a family unit? The answer is I don't know. What I do know is that I have found a very sweet experience. We get together and do vaguely domestic things. We play house in a way. But this is no regular house, nor would I want it to be.
I am coming closer and closer to understanding that my wants and expectations of life don't line up very well with the larger populations outlined playbook. I don't buy into many of the lines drawn about this or that. I don't want kids, even though I adore them and think at times I would be a pretty bitchin' mom. End of the day, I don't want to be, but that doesn't mean I don't possess that maternal pulse. I use some of it in the work I do each day which is a very gratifying thing. So in this new opportunity I mostly just am, but I care for this little, crazy family. Fuck, I adore them. It triggers this slow, soft part of me. The part that listens, doesn't need to talk incessantly. The part that watches carefully, that takes it in and simplifies when possible.
AM taught me a phrase that I hold very dear. "Family is as family does." I consider myself lucky in that I have some blood relatives that are amazing, connected and dear. I also have the gift of individuals I have met along the way that exceed the bounds of acquaintance or best bud. They cross over into the realm of humans that I love outright, no questions asked, will do whatever is needed. And they are the ones that last.
Is my little faux-family part of that circle? I wouldn't say that yet, but at the same time I have abiding feelings of hope, trust and a presentness that you just don't come across that often. So here's to the unaligned ones, the ones we cherish, the ones that belong in a way all their own. These are my people and I raise a glass of milk (to go with the brownies) to them.
Posted by I Love You To Madness at 2:07 AM