Sunday, March 1, 2009

Trans-Octave Burps

Among my many unemployable skills is the ability to produce multi-tonal gaseous exertions. And I wonder why I don't have a job. Again. Hard learned advice is don't get uncontrollably sick without first notifying your employer weeks in advance and creating "health accommodations." What is that you say? How could I possibly know I was going to be ill and miss chunks of work ahead of time? I know, I thought it was rather demanding and unreasonable too, but as it turns out I have no legal recourse.

So today included continued general malaise, discovering a bump in my armpit that seems to be disconcertingly rapidly developing (probably just a swollen gland), and practicing my burps. I am aiming to be able to hit two different notes as well as whistle. Who wouldn't want to employ this hot mess!?!

Unrelated: Are blogs just an outlet for all of our unvoiced complaints and worries? Supplemental: if so, is that such a bad thing?

Unrelated #2: I am going to start writing music again. It will be moody and tell stories about nightly visions and robots bucking the system. Nothing new on the music scene. Gotta fill the day somehow. Perhaps I will use my mad burping skills and loop it as percussion on GarageBand.

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