Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dirty Words

CAN’T STOP MAKING LISTS.  Here is just a taste of what my listing habit looks like:   

1. You can't really see it, but one of the lists has water damage.  This can be attributed to Elton John’s habit of pawing at nearly full glasses of water when they are near anything of value or importance.  Namely, work-related documents, pictures we only have one copy of, and my super essential catalogs of “to-do”.   Lists also help me organize my thoughts and keep track of them.  This does assume that I don’t misplace the scraps of paper I use to scribble my grocery needs or books ideas on.  Can’t win them all. 

2.  Dirty words:  I have always had a bit of a potty mouth.  Its just the way I roll mutha fuckas.  Lately I have noticed a trend in my use of expletives that pleases me, as well as makes me wonder about my relative sanity.  Here is an example taken from real life:  I was sitting on the couch going over some training materials for my new job the other day and my beloved iMac slid to the floor creating general cacophony and annoyance for me and the cats.  My response?  “mothershit dandelion balls!”  This was said out loud to no one in particular.  Where did the dandelion balls come from you may wonder.  Yeah, me too.  I have no idea.  What I do know is it sounded right in the moment and felt good to say.  I enjoy the frivolity of including a flower/weed in a string of curse words to lighten the tone and create an air of “huh?”  All else fails, confuse your opponent.  

After placing my computer in a safe location and finishing my reading materials I began to ponder my predilection for peppering my bad words with otherwise innocuous nouns and verbs.  I occasionally throw in a simile too.  Where did this come from?  Have I always done this and just now actually heard myself?  What will people think?  (Okay the last one didn’t cross my mind at all)  I then remembered stories about my great uncle Chet, known to all as a booze hound with a panache for mistreating those he loved and mixing his foul language with everyday terms.   Can a person inherit a way of talking?  Probably not, but I am certainly wondering about nature/nurture a bit.  Hopefully his other traits that I am less enamored with will stay his alone.  Otherwise Applefuckin'Pie to you and yours! (that was apparently a favorite saying of his).
AM made a great point about cuss words the other evening when we were out drinking sangria and munching on calimari linguini. I brought up how some people suggests that individuals who use salty language are only displaying their limited vocabulary and "verbal vision."  That somehow expletives equal an unimaginative mind.  For a small period of time I convinced myself I agreed and tried (in vain I might add) to cut down on cussing and replace "fucktard" with "he who irritates and displays only the briefest consideration of ideas."  Just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?  AM recounted a discussion he had with some college peers about the same issue.  Well intentioned as they may have been with their desire to rid the world of cuss words, AM totally owned their asses with his perspective.  The essential point he made was the following (tinged of course with my spotty memory.  any flaws, are no doubt mine): 

Words are like colors in many ways.  We use them to give tone and create a feeling or desired response.  So like the painter uses all the shades of the rainbow.  If you have ever spent time really looking at some of the most revered pieces of art you will see all the small strokes of brush and variances of color.  You will most likely spot a color that you find, on its own, completely unpleasant.  Who would ever want to see such a color?  But then you take a step back and notice that it is the exact right color for the overall picture.  that it could be no other color.  That speck of pukey-green makes the painting emote, connect and be as it should.  The same goes for words.  Fuck may be harsh to hear at times, but really what is better than saying "fuck this shit!" and storming out of an undesirable situation?  I contend, there is no other turn of phrase that fits in certain moments. 

AM is crazy smart.  And he insists that when he made this point to an avid, but disagreeing audience his was still completely lit from the night before.   Awesome+.

3.  Last one.  I found airfare up to Seattle during Labor day week for $210 roundtrip!  What's that you said?  I'm rad?  Well, thanks!  Sometimes I think so too.  

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